Parting ways.

It’s very much like the saying ‘Always a bridesmaid, never the bride’ or being a fly on the wall.

A community that’s very much just way too cliquey. Certainly very ripe with favouritism.

I always push through all the negative mental health after every competition. Always feeling confident, despite the barrage of not good enough, not confident enough, not flattering for myself at all. No one likes you.

It’s always a constant battle, and one I’m losing at that. I’m done making myself feel shit, trying to pursue something I thought I was good at. It’s also one that I do not wish upon my son, or possible future children.

I don’t know why I do it to myself, but I will be fixing that. As rewarding it is to help charities, it’s also hard when you work so hard, and it’s never recognised. At all, it’s truly soul crushing.

That being said, my son will be keeping one pageant commitment until it’s over then after that, we’re both retiring.

Looking forward it’s all about my education and educational goals.


One for the history books: Covid-19

Of course I’ll eventually end up somehow documenting this. One blog post during this tome, so I can look back on it in the years to come. Much like a journal post.

I’m 25, and my son is 2. When this pandemic started suddenly end of February 2020. I don’t remember much honestly. I remember keeping my son strictly under rules, for fear that he could catch it.

We both had our birthdays during the pandemic, making for a bleak 26th and 3rd birthday. Also limiting seeing family, especially the more vulnerable grandparents.

I worked in retail from the start of the very first lockdown, and have seen 100s of people not take it seriously, and actually take the piss when shopping.

One thing that’s for sure is the government made it 100 times worse. They have no idea what they are doing. All they’re doing, is what they’re doing the best, wasting millions of pounds.

All my big plans have been postponed, my big holiday to Australia, my first festival experience at Slam Dunk, my first time attending the Curve Fashion Festival.

It’s made for an interesting experience, being a student. Studying my Access to HE pathway course, half online and in the classroom one day a week, socially distanced and in masks.

This year has been an entire level of Jumanji. I really hope somehow the world resets on New Year’s Eve, and we all can have an amazing 2021. A girl can hope.


Kanturo Eyewear: Product Review

Last Christmas I treated myself to a pair of glasses from Kanturo Eyewear. After seeing all the positivity surrounding this company on social media. This company specialising in blocking blue light rays. These are a surprisingly important buy, in today’s technology driven culture.

Kanturo Glasses 🤓

Blue light from device screens, is what can cause eye strain and migraines.

Past designs for blue light blocking glasses, were over cumbersome with thick coloured glass often yellow.

These are stylish, and I most say work. I wear them every evening during my wind down period. And I have noticed a significant difference in migraines, from screen time.

Check out their styles, at reasonable prices on their site.


Positive Future Clothing ✨

During the bleakness of this pandemic, we are currently in as of today. It inspired me to do a fun little venture. I stumbled across a great site called Teemill. This is a store hosting site. I explored more, and then birthed my idea, Positive Future Clothing ✨

Along with my mum, Victoria we created Positive Future Clothing. An ethical, sustainable brand with thoughtful unique designs, supporting a range of topics. Not only do we do clothing for all, but we also do prints and tote bags. I’ll include some pictures here with a few designs I’d like to showcase. You can view the full store here.

No Planet B tee.

No Planet B Tee – This is available in a few colours. A simple tee with slogan on. This is available for women, men and children in a variety of sizes.

Adopt not Shop Collection

Adopt not Shop collection – This is available in clothing or as a tote bag. A cute design advocating to adopt pets instead of buying them. available in a variety of colours and sizes.

A variety of prints.
A variety of tote bags.

Tote bags and Prints – A variety of designs available in both sections of the store. From the ones pictured, to a few abstract ones. There’s something for everyone.

We are also looking for bloggers and brand ambassadors to work with. So let me know of interest and I can email our PR opportunity. Thank you for supporting our sustainable clothing brand.

Social Media Links-

Facebook page:
Facebook VIP group: Positive Future Clothing ✨
Twitter: @positivefuturex
Instagram: @positive.futureclothing #positivefutureclothing

~Rebecca & Victoria

Post Lockdown Pamper.

Straight out the gate, I went down to Virtue Hair and Beauty. As their first customer, post COVID lock down. A local run business in Bristol. Recently moved into a beautiful very instagram picture worthy unit. I will be back in the future, when I’m able too.

They’ve implemented many safe practices, working in such an uncertain time. Full PPE, masks, distance and cleaning regularly is all in effect. I went to get my hair trimmed, for the first time in half a year, and get an undercut put in. A hairstyle I’ve wanted for years, but never got a chance to get.

Polite, friendly and talkative, very much makes you feel at home, while being pampered. I had a whole cut, shaved, washed, blow dried and straightened. I absolutely loved it. And although the pattern is now outgrown in my hair so quickly, if I ever want it again, I’ll be back.

Visit their insta and website. Show them some support in this time. I completely recommend them! Just see how good my hair looks.


A stylish addiction. 👗🌸

Just my experience, Not Sponsored by Stitch Fix. All clothes here fit a size 18.

Much like many mums, I have been living in either work uniform or pjs, for the past 3 years +, I also have no idea how to style my body right, especially after feeling 100% unattractive lately. I thought I should do something about it.

I stumbled upon a site called Stitch Fix. Its no ordinary subscription service. You set up your style profile, with your size, budget and preferences. And then every fix, contains a few handpicked items from your stylist. You can set how often you receive these. I set my one to every three months. However there’s options from weekly, monthly, bimonthly and every three months.

When your fix arrives, it comes with an invoice, telling you about the picks and their prices in stores. As well as a cute little introductions from your stylist, and outfit suggestions. You simply try on, and review on your account. Any items you’d like to keep, you pay for. And then you return the rest back in the same box with a prepaid label. All free of charge. The stylist fee is automatically deducted, from what you buy, and if you choose to buy the whole box, they deduct 20% from the total.

My first invoice.

Upon first impressions, I was impressed, though unsure about the fit. I received 2 dresses, 2 tops and a pair of jeans. Now I filled in my sizes, I don’t know what my jean size is. So was sure this pair of jeans, wasn’t going to fit. The dresses had a spotty theme, and the tops; one a burgundy wrap style top, the other one, a dark green batwing sweater. These styles are meant to compliment an hourglass figure.

My cute introduction.

I tried everything on, and I was surprised by the immediate confidence boost I felt. For a change I wasn’t in baggy clothes, and jeans that barely fit. My first big shock was that these jeans, they sent, fit me like a glove. They was a nice cut, though not tight. Similar to my usual skinny jeans. I also tried on a black and pink spots tea dress, which was very flattering. It was a great feminine take on my usual alternative style.

I tried on the second dress, a navy and white spotty wrap dress. I love the idea of a wrap dress, being able to choose my waistline. However this particular dress, didn’t fall right on my body. The jersey material felt heavy, and was shorter at the back then the front. Due to how it fell over my rear. In terms of the tops, I loved the colours. And I liked the style of the burgundy top. Both felt nice on too, in my size. However I am not a batwing style kind of girl.

Safe to say, I purchased the jeans and the tea dress, as a treat to myself. I reviewed the box online, and sent back the others easily and completely free. I’m also super excited to see what is in my next Stitch Fix Box. I recommend it and they have a section for men’s too. Suitable for all. Check out this link for more information.


A weight off my shoulders…

Moral of this post, is ALWAYS trust your gut feeling. Or always trust your head.

I have been in a rocky but stable long term 6 year relationship. Though my confidence hasn’t always been 100%, or my trust issues. Which was created by an extremely bad break up, the year before. So bad when you think you’ve found the one, and everything is going great, till he creates numerous arguments. It truly is damaging, being accused of cheating. Especially when you are innocent.

Let’s go back to the year before. The year was 2013. I was in a good relationship, was in it for a year. Loads of train journeys, communication, walks, movie nights. It was good. All good. Even thought we was soulmates, good.

Until the arguments start, more so when he was secretly texting a girl called Emily. Now don’t get me wrong, you can have friends of the opposite sex if completely platonic. But actively hiding messages etc, is shady and first red flag. Then, when I went home to visit my family, the barrage of texts and calls, accusing me of cheating. Now I’m not the one hiding messages. Therefore leading to an abrupt break up.

Years later, 5 years later to be precise, I message his friend, to get my apology to him, so I can heal and move on. Thinking it was all my fault. He told me to back off because my ex and Emily (yes that Emily) was in a happy relationship with 2 kids. I deleted him and the message thinking nothing off it. Seeings the ex had me blocked from the beginning anyway. At least I cleared my conscious.

Follow on to 2 weeks ago, when I saw he finally unblocked me. Now when I was with him, he had a son from a previous relationship. And that was it. Now I know from his friend, he had 2 more kids. He dumped me 6 years ago, accusing me of cheating. He has a 6 year old daughter. Now it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out, he knocked up another girl while with me. The same girl he hid texts from.

I messaged him, thanking him for finally lifting this weight off my shoulders. How absolutely disgusted I was, of how he treated me. How the truth always comes out, and my god did a dodge a bullet. How happy I am, with my family, my beautiful son and writing for my blog. Working, now driving, travelling. Just content and finally happy with life.

Without even waiting for his reply, I blocked him. I needed the rant, and weight off my shoulders. And I could not be happier. Always trust your gut instinct. Always.

It’s okay to have bad days… Scam Warning.

I’m not having a great mental health day. Been bad for a few days recently. And I’m okay with that. I feel like this is the mindset that’s needed nowadays. To recognise the difference between bad and good days.

I’ve been so focused on financial security that it made me vulnerable and a target. I was targeted on Instagram, by two accounts. In what I now see as a opportunistic scam. Promising too much, being well convincing, so convincing that the red flags were few and far between. Using my son as a emotional blackmail too, for providing a better life for him. I was stupid enough to fall for it, and lose half my paycheque.

This has left me very down, depressed and honestly the odd suicidal feeling. A lot of panic attacks, throughout the day, especially when I know it’s very unlikely I’ll ever see my money again. However my son is the only one that’s keeping me going.

Lesson learnt and I will now be looking towards a brighter future. This post serves more as a warning for my fellow instagram users. Don’t be as stupid as I was. I can’t share their usernames as it changes every week apparently, but keep an eye out for the similarities. And do not fall for it.

If anything from this post, I want people to know 2 things.

  • Create awareness for this sophisticated scam, so there isn’t more victims.
  • It’s okay to have bad days, no matter who you are.


Slam Dunk 2020/Pop Punk Art 😍

November 2019, I excitedly bought my tickets for Slam Dunk 2020, after seeing my favourite band, The Story So Far on the line up. Excitedly waiting till May 2020.

Of course, as the pandemic came around, the festival was postponed to September 2020, but that was fine. They released the line up and thankfully I could still catch Seeing my favourite band, to look forward too.

Then it was cancelled altogether until 2021. Of course for safety, that was going to be inevitable. A big popular festival, was of course going to get cancelled. I hope I’ll be able to attend 2021, but as of right now I’m not sure I’ll be able to, with personal goals etc, I’m setting myself.

That being said, this was my birthday present to myself. So of course I was a little bit gutted. However its then, I stumbled across Graeme Mills pop punk art. I loved his work, so I ordered my own artwork. As a present for myself, to commemorate this weird time. I only requested it’ll include my favourite lyric from my favourite song, High Regard.

Artwork by Graeme Mills.

I received it today, digitally. And I am so in love with it. I’ve ordered it as a print to frame it for my desk. It’s definitely brightened my day up. It’s original, unique and a great gift idea.

I absolutely enjoyed supporting creative businesses. Definitely worth checking out! He can work with anything though most popular with pop punk. You can view his Instagram here. Just message him to talk about an order.